One womens story against an a invisable illness

One womens story against an a invisable illness

Wednesday 1 September 2010

Disabled fringes of socity or social butterflys?

Hey everyone,

Sorry I haven't written in awhile I've been suffering from fatigued for the last week or so.

I wanted to talk to you all about a survey Scope did on the the invisibility of disabled people in day to day life.
  • Now the survey says that nearly 40% of people ( who are not disabled or don't have a family member who is) don't know any disabled person.
  • 90% of Britons have never had a disabled person in their house for a social occasion.
  • 91% of people believe that disabled people should have the same opportunity as anyone else.
Now if 91% of people believe that disabled people should have the same opportunities as everyone else why have 90% of people have never had a disabled person in their house for social occasions and 40% don't even know a person with a disability? Is it that we just don't look past our own noses as a society or is that people just don't acknowledge disabled people as needing a friend? 

I think its more then that, I think people do want disabled people in there lives and as friends but are embarrassed not with being seen with a disabled person but of offending them. I understand that feeling I've been there myself even though I have been fortunate enough in my life to have been around disabled people and have family members who are disabled, I've had mixed reactions from them.

The first experience I had of meeting a disabled person was in middle school. We never hit it off as we has personality differences. I think a lot of people think they HAVE to be friends with a disabled person, you don't. If you don't get on, you don't get on. Its that simple! You wouldn't feel guilty or worried people would think bad of you if you didn't like someone who was able bodied would you? well its the same if you don't get on you don't get on. The disabled girls best friend used to parade her around like she was a prize and that she was the only one selfless and humble enough to be her friend! It used to irritate me (and still does) that adults would praise her for it! I don't see it as anything special! people are people to me and I never judge a person on their abilities but their personalities and actions where as she judged this person on how much attention and gold stars she was going to achieve with being her friend.

My second experience was in late middle school/high school and that was my step-dad used to drive a disabled mini-bus to collect and drop off children to and from a group called "squad". We sometimes went there with my step-dad to pick up and drop off the members or sometimes go in there to socialize. It was fantastic! I really enjoyed being there! The people where so nice and I got on with everyone there! I loved it! I used to attend a church youth group and I would make up performance's for us to do (the girl I was talking about before was also included in these performance's but never liked it because of the nature of some of the peoples disabilities as her best friend had cerebral palsy and she couldn't manipulate the situation for her own gain) and I loved being there and socializing. I would have joined their youth group if I could have! 

My experience's after that was at college. There was to disabled girls that I knew one was really nice and we got on well and not just me but everyone else and the other was just plain nasty! It was like she had a chip on her shoulder and hated anybody who was able bodied. Once I was waiting in the corridor (for my now husband) to finish his class when this girl burst out into the corridor. She looked really distressed so I asked her if she was OK and she recoiled in horror and held her face like she had been slapped! When her LSA (learning support) turned up and she told her I had slapped her! The women told me I was disgusting and toke the girl away disgusted! I was disciplined. It was just her and me in the corridor so I couldn't fight the accusation as I had no witnesses and I had more reason to lie then a disabled person right?

I don't know why she did this as I had done nothing personally to her but I think some disabled people have a grudge and are angry against the world for their disability so they take it out on anyone who they come in contact with them. I think this is why some people are nervous about becoming friends with a disabled person just in case they take offence or accuse them of showing charity how ever this shouldn't prevent people from becoming friends with a disabled person as not everybody is the same. I think people are also scared of what they don't understand especially if that person has a physical disability but again that is down to ignorance and if they only asked the person or researched then they will understand.

To flip the coin not everyone is so accepting. Some people can be right down nasty! They don't have disabled people at social events because of access and to be honest they probably don't care either! Some people are ignorant and don't think past their own noses and if it doesn't concern them they don't care! There is probably hundreds of horror stories of people bullying or being nasty to disabled people I think there needs to be more understanding on both sides on how to bridge this gap. People need to realize what its like to be ostracised from most things in this world without it being socially too. 

Hopefully one day we can all come to an understanding and the issue will be resolved or maybe it never will but if we all make a little more effort in life, smile and little acts of kindness to each other disabled or not then maybe we can make this world a little bit more bearable for all of us!

Thank you for reading xxxx

If you wanted to read the BBC article yourselves here is the link
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-11139534

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