Hey everybody,
I went out yesterday to buy my son's new school shoes and while we were out we decided to go window shopping (due to lack of funds) and it made me think is there any point looking good in a wheelchair?? How can you feel sexy in a wheelchair?? I know i'm going to go a little far with this next point and you all probably have different opinions about it but your partner always gives you the most attention and affection when their threatened. For example if I was out all dressed up and a guy looks at me or even talks to me my husband comes over and pulls me close to him and i never leave his attention! Once we were at a club and my husband felt so threatened that he caged me between him and the railing! I couldn't breath! I couldn't even go to the toilet on my own! We had great sex that night! Its a matter of them marking their territory and them showing you what their worth, makeing sure your eyes don't wonder on to anybody else.
We all need to know we're still deseriable. Its about self esteem even if your not looking for anybody else to know you still can affects you in ways you proberly didn't relise. For example you will have the confidence at work, soicaliseing, every part of your life and espacially with your partner. You know that saying "if you feel good you look good"? its true in this sense too. Knowing that you can still attract the eye of the other sex makes you feel good in turn makeing you confident when you walk into the bedroom with your partner.
So if you don't feel this how do you get the confidence? People will tell you out of kindness that you look good with a walking stick or in a wheelchair but ultimately guys would only look at me to wonder why a person my age is with a walking stick or in a wheelchair? thats why most people stare. I've had people walk past me and laugh at my struggle to walk when all i'm trying to do is be a good mother and go to my son's school because he has something going on or he just wants me to pick him up. I've had two guys walk past me and shout "what a fat arse! Oi fat arse" and laughed. Now how do you walk into the bedroom with your partner with confidence after that?
Its not just the disability its the weight too. When you can't move that far exercise becomes a problem and without exercise your weight just goes up and up and theres no way to burn that fat. With me its alot harder as i still have baby weight hanging around that i just can't shift! I've started watching what I eat and decided to go on a diet but without exercise how far will that go? If you don't like the way you look you can't go into the bedroom and want to have sex? Now when I go into the bedroom at the end of the day and sex is on the agenda its lights out P.J's on and under the cover! I would never stand in front of my husband in nice underwear or naked! (maybe when i was younger and a size 6 and had DD boobs!) My biggest fear is turning him off with my body. I think i'm fat, I see i'm fat and I say i'm fat. People are always scolding me for saying i'm fat but when you think and feel a certain way it doesn't matter how many people tell you differently you will never belive them untill you see it yourself!
That doesn't mean that me and my husband don't have a great sex life! Luckly for us we did all the experimenting when we was younger so we know what we like and don't like so the fact that I can't do alot means hanging upside down from a tree is out of the question! When mobility is an issue things can be hard, in the bedroom but its always inportant to keep that intimacy. They say sex is a great pain relief. I have mixed feelings about that I don't feel pain during sex (unless it involves jumping of the walls or hanging from the celing!) but I certainly feel that affects after! The risk and pain is definitely worth it for me you may not feel the same. So how do you have a healthy sex life when all these possibilities are against you? Its simple! You just don't think about them! easier said then down but you put them to the back of your mind lock them in a cage and just don't think about them! Its a mind over matter thing, If you don't mind it don't matter!! This feeling and thoughts are always going to be there and their going to niggle at you but the trick is to think and then forget! don't dwell on them let them have there moment and let it be.
Comeing back to my original point if no-one is looking at you in a suggestive way and you don't get the confidence is there any point in dressing up?? Whats the point of spending loads of money if all people can see is the stick or the chair?
I'll leave you with that note!
Thank you for reading xxx
does it matter what other people see? i do not think it should be your main concern. If you want to go and buy an outfit you love then you should do so. Being in a wheelchair/having a walking stick shouldn't stop you wanting to look gd in a nice outfit. Its also like saying a bold or teethless women shouldnt go out in public because people would stare and they shouldnt buy nice clothes because they dont think it would make a difference.
ReplyDeleteMy point is that it shouldn't matter what other people see, as long as you're happy with yourself.
I have been through a stage where every time i went out people would look at me in disgust or making horrible comments like urgh she so fat. Because of their comments i became ill, i was obsessed with trying to find ways to loose weight and now i have i still don't feel happy but it's taking a long time to get over it and i'm thinking less and less about what other people think of my image and more about my health and happiness and you should to. forget about your health concentrate on your health first before your image.
forget about your weight*
ReplyDeleteI know its just how you feel at the time! We have been brought up into a world absessed with image and its hard not to be affected by it! especially when you are in a position like clothes shopping where everything revolves around the way you look!
ReplyDelete