Tribute to my Nan

I miss you more and more each day,

the pain never leaves me.

I think about you more and more each day,

a smell, a voice, anything can make me think of you.

I never got to tell you how I really felt,
i was to stubborn and hard headed,
now your gone all I think about is what I should have said,
it haunts me at every turn.

I guess I felt I didn't need to,
as to me you were invincible.
you were always going to be around,
you was always going to be there.
you were the wind beneath my wings.


Hey everyone,

A year ago today my Nan died, I don't really know what to say other then I miss her so much and it hurts like crazy. My other grandparents died when I was a child and I've always just toke it for granted that my Nan would always be there but when she did die I so wanted to be a child, protected and safe from all the harsh realities of losing a loved one.

The night she died me, my mum, sister and friends were out celebrating the birth of my son the month before, she had been in hospital with kidney failure but was due to come out that day. We had gone to see her the week before and I had taken my son but because she was on an intensive care ward the nurse wouldn't let me take him in to show her, she said if she was worse she would take her in a side room and we could of but she wasn't, that is something I will always regret. Luckily we were all together when we got the call and we rushed from London to Canterbury to get there on time but we were five minutes late. My uncle came out the hospital to meet us, he shook his head as he walked towards my mum with his arms open and she just cried out and curled up. I graped my little sister who was only ten at the time and hugged her to me. I wanted a hole to swallow me up as I didn't want to acknowledge what was happening, I still don't.

That was a year ago that she was taken away from us and it still feels like yesterday, I still wake in the middle of the night because I've dreamt of you or remembered a memory. Things haven't got any easier and I don't think they ever will.

Today is in honour of my Nan, Love you and miss you forever and a day.

Thank you for reading xxx