Hey everyone,

I've got three days left till I see the neurologist and I'm so scared! I'm terrified more then anything his going to say they have found nothing. It feels like a ten ton weight is hanging over my head and as everyday goes by the rope holding it up gets a little more frayed. I have so much in my head that its hard to concentrate on anything else, I keep going over and over things in my head that I can't seem to relax or think about anything else.

I feel so alone, that nobody understands or cares what I'm going through. Its scary having your whole life in some else's hands. The neurologist can help or destroy my life in a matter of minutes. Its also the one year anniversary of my nan's death at the end of the month so all I can think and dream about is her. I'm hoping that my mood improves for my son's birthday tomorrow and that I have the energy to do all things I need to.

I want to make my son's birthday special please God give me the strength I need because I can guarantee I will need it!

Will keep you posted on how it goes, thank you for reading xxxx