Blood thicker the water??

Hey everyone,

Family is a strange thing isn't it? You can be related to the most irritating people you will ever meet in your life but you also have so much love for them at the same time. Some families seem to be closer then others, some people can't stand their family and others are so close they spend every waking hour with them!

My families a bit different, I would say we're a close family but I couldn't be around them everyday. I know a few people who are adults and every day take their kids around their mum and dad's house and stay there all day everyday! It would drive me crazy and I know it would drive my mum crazy too!

I have family members who drive me crazy! Their immature, selfish and stupid and expected everybody to pick up the slack for them but at the same time I love them with all my heart and would do anything for them.

But when is "enough", enough? If you kept bailing them out every five minutes for their stupidity and immaturity when do you say "deal with it on your own"? Its a hard question when love and family are involved. I was always told blood is thicker then water but when all your blood is being drained to support someone else eventually for your own sake, you have to pull that IV out and say "no more!"

Its not an easy thing to do because of the guilt that comes with it but as adults we have to come to a point in life where we're chucked in the deep end and its sink or swim, but those who know that there's someone at the side of the pool, ready and waiting with a life line to rescue them they never attempt to swim. They just lay there waiting to for the moment when you step in. You know the saying cruel to be kind? Its true sometimes you have to. There's no choice in the matter.

What about the other side of it? What if you can't stand a family member and to go as far as hate? Me and my husband don't get on with any of his family and the only one's we speak to is his mum and dad. The family dilemma we have time and time again is his mum wants to allow our children to go with her to his sisters but we can't stand her or her husband and don't trust them as far as we can throw them. 

I know it seems very cruel to not allow our children to be with their aunt but there's a lot of history that goes into it. Years of complicated anger came to a volcanic eruption last year and dispute between sister and brother nearly destroyed a mother and son relationship forever.

My husband and his sister have always had a strenuous relationship, as kids they were never allowed to settle disputes between themselves and my husband was always the one who was corrected which caused his sister to developed a unrealistic notion of power over her brother while my husband buried all the hate and hurt deep down.

When me and my husband met, me and his sister lets say never really hit it off! She felt that as I was with her brother she too had this unrealistic power over me. (which believe me didn't go down to well!) She hated me and I didn't think to highly of her either and the way she treated my husband infuriated me but as teenagers we really couldn't do much about it as his mum and dad still jumped to her defence and ultimately they were his parents.

It became worse when we had our first son. She felt she had the right to administer this "power" when ever she felt with our son which didn't sit well with me. Her boyfriend at the time hated our son and would pick on him when ever he had the chance to. Me and my husband never slapped our son (because he was a very well behaved child and never had the need to) at seven months old she decided that she was going to "discipline" our child the way she felt fit to and slapped him! twice! When she put him down (he was screaming) I picked him up and comforted him and she said "how is he going to learn!" For one he is MY child and its MY choice in how I discipline him and not down to you to tell me how I bring up MY child!! Anyway i tried to take the diplomatic route and went upstairs to my husband (who was running a bath for him) and said "your sister just slapped him, could you let her know that we have chosen not to slap him because I don't think she knows"  By the time he went downstairs she had left the house, we continued to bath our son (I'm not going to lie, I had a few choice words to say!) eventually she came back, ran upstairs and started to scream at my husband that she had done nothing! She said to my husband "who do you choose to believe, her or me?" 

Blood thicker then water? In that case my husband chose to support me and continues to no matter what. Regardless of who it is in his family he stands up and supports me. Last year his sister got married (on her third engagement! third time lucky hey!) things deteriorated so bad between her and my husband and because of what happened my husband doesn't speak or allow our children to see her. There were a lot of situations that arose over the years that caused an a unadulterated hatred between us and her and her husband. 

That year was the hardest I've ever had, and I think the same applies to my husband. She nearly destroyed our family, killed our child and ruin my husbands relationship with his parents and those things will never be forgotten or forgiven. I can't even portray to you what happened or the damage caused, the affects are still being felt now but what I can tell you is that all that has happened between us as adults would never affect how we dealt with the situation between her and our children. The reason we don't allow them to see our children is because we don't trust her as if she could slap my child in front of my face then what would she do behind my back? Its not just that but she allowed her husband and her boyfriend before that to bully our son. 

My son is a sensitive child and wears his heart on his sleeve which makes it very easy for a spiteful adult to bully him. While he was visiting his nan (which at the time they lived with) he would call him names to the point of frustration for my son then would laugh at him, he would tell him he was going to chuck him out of his nan's house if he said that Liverpool stinks. Now I can understand that some men have this over extractive gang culture attitude to football but picking on a child to terrify him into supporting your team? Then he has the audacity to say to everyone (because he never actually came) that he came over to our house and my husband was to scared to come answer the door! I will be honest with you if he had come to my house then I would have been spending the night in a police cell and him in a hospital bed! 

Anyway I'm getting distracted the point is every now and then its a bone of contention between my husband and his mum because she wants to take the boys to see her (even though his sister is not bothered by the kids at all its the control element she wants, she knows it causes a issue and she likes that!) and my husband refuses.

Would you allow your children go because of the notion blood is thicker then water?

Thanks for reading xxx

My husband has decided to tell his side of the story, you can read it here... http://eyeofthestorm01.blogspot.com/