Job centre and getting me back to work

Hey everyone,

On the 3rd of May I'm to travel to the Job centre to discuss me going back to work. I was talking to my husband about it and I was trying to work out how I can get around my medical condition and work a full days work to support a family.

My day consists of going to sleep around 3am although sometimes its later or I don't sleep at all. I have got so used to casino programs or shopping channels, I've even laid in bed guessing which number is going to win on roulette. I have found that BBC news is the must interesting programs at that time of night. You have Hardtalk, interviews, American news and Click, I have found them actually quite interesting. Sometimes when the pain is really bad I have to resort to taking Amitriptyline.

I tend to sleep through the morning waking up around 1pm. There have been plenty of times my husband has tried to wake me up but I can't even open my eyes they roll into the back of my head and I just lay back down, when I finally wake up I have no recollection of my husband trying to wake me up. I doubt I'll be able to wake up at 7am, get myself ready and travel to work especially if I've had to take Amitriptyline as it knocks me out for over 12 hours. I can't even wake up and help my husband get my son to school.

When I am awake it takes me around an hour or two to actually be coherent to whats going on around me. I tend to just stare out into space and not understand or able to take in any information or hold a conversation. As soon as the words are spoken to me my brain has forgotten them. I doubt that I would be a very productive employee. During this period I take the time to let my body "warm up" a bit then my husband helps me out of bed and to the toilet. Sometimes I have to wait as my husband might be feeding or doing something with our son so its when he is free. From the toilet I'm taken to the sofa where I will take my medication (which at the moment isn't working at all and I'm waiting for my appointment at the pain clinic for an alternative) and have a cup of tea. 

I will spend the day either laying on the sofa trying to cope with the pain while my husband feeds, waters and takes me the toilet or I'll be able to do a little moving around. When I can move I'll do small amounts of housework and spend time with my kids. Then I go to bed to start it all over again. This happens day in, day out the only times things change is when I have things to do or appointments. This means that I have to make the ordeal of climbing down the two flights of stairs to usually the cab to take me anywhere I need to be.

How can I work? Its not because I don't want to as I loved being a Dental nurse and would love one day to go back to it but there is no way I'd be able to keep up with now. If you can find me a job that can exist around all my medical problems and appointments as well as paying enough to support my family and disability I will work. When you have an invisible illness you have no dignity anyway without this government and media dragging us down into lower depths.

Just think for a minute what it would be like to be 23 and to have your independence stripped away from you where your partner then becomes your parent. Where you can't even go to the toilet by yourself and you live in constant pain, then you have to go to the Job centre to defend why your not working and prove why your worthwhile for the tax payer to pay for rather then letting you rot.