Hey everyone,
The song from Chicago "Mr. Cellophane" really rings true for me this last year. When your in a wheelchair people pushing you don't really understand how isolated and lonely it can be. I have found that I will be looking at something or talking to someone and because the person pushing me needs to leave or they want to do something I'm hijacked and taken away to what ever I was doing. My views, my opinions and my will goes out of the window as soon as I go into the wheelchair. I have had an experience were my sister toke me shopping because she is so used to looking after children that she dumped me next to the aisle and told not to move, when I tried to wheel myself to get something she came back and said "I told you not to move!" grabbed the handles and wheeled me away from what I was trying to get. My husband has listen to me and taken on board what I've said as its easier from me to get mad at him and tell him how I feel then other people. I'm still me, I still have a voice and a mind of my own but I feel more and more that its "easier" just to sit back and not argue, no-one understands how I feel and what I'm saying. I hear more and more "I Would love for someone to push me around all day" but when their independence is taken away not just physically but their wants too they wouldn't appreciate it as much. Its easy when you can walk, when someone wants to go one way and you the other to says you go your way and I'll go mine and just do it but in a wheelchair its not that easy and more often then not the will of the person in the chair is over thrown.
Another cause of isolation is when you stuck in your home day after day and are not able to go out and experience life. Those in charge of housing don't care that your stuck indoors everyday because your in a flat on the second floor with no lift and you can't make the stairs, they go home each night to their families and leave their worries at work, the name and number on the paperwork. People who know you and family always have sympathy in the beginning but that wains after awhile as their life continues so you spend days in your home with not a lot socialisation.
Being in chronic pain most days can cause isolation as most people don't understand what your going through and your abilities. Pain can make you irritable to so being around people is difficult. I feel isolated most days, I feel left out of family as I can't just go and visit people and because they would need to come to me its easier not to. Friends parties, going to social advents or even just going to the pub is out of reach to me.
I have learnt to just deal with my isolation and argue to much, if people don't want to understand I can't make them. Life goes on for everybody else and the focus on their own life's come first, that's normal! Even now I'm focusing on my own life and my own troubles.
I'm hoping a part of my isolation is resolved soon by moving to a different home where I would have the ability to go out more, I hope that those at Merton Priory Homes know how much isolation I'm going through and need help soon.
Please help me soon.
Thank you for reading xx
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