I hate relapses!

Hey everyone,

I have had to face the fact I'm going through another relapse. Having two months of pain killers actually doing their job, having more mobility and not feeling so weak all the time, but the best change would have to be the fatigue subsiding for awhile. While I'm in the "good" stage I tend to sleep a normal 8-10 hours a night and don't feel tired during the day but when I'm in a "relapse" I can sleep for other 12 hours, feel really tired and lethargic during the day and take a nap for 2 hours before going back to bed around 11pm.

When I'm in a "relapse" I am in a extreme amount of pain, I lay on my bed (usually naked) with a fan on (no matter what the time of the year is) crying my eyes out because the pain is to much. I have burning pain in a lot of places on my body and it feels like i have literally been set on fire and having any kind of material on my body causes me pain so I spend a lot of the time naked or in pajamas. Also because of the burning pain I find it really difficult to move as any little movement causes me pain and walking is unbearable. Along with the burning pain I have this cramp like aching pain as well as joint pain so what ever I do something is going to hurt. I also have a lot of weakness so have to be helped with drinking and sometimes eating, if I have a cup of tea I have to wait for it to go lukewarm before I can drink so I don't burn myself if I drop it all over myself.

During a "relapse" I lose my life. I end up bed bound and shut away from my family (as my youngest will come in and will pull things down, grabbed things he shouldn't and climb all over me so my husband shuts the door!), People end up getting fed up with me as I constantly let them down by not going out to things. I lose my life for 3-4 months, I do nothing, I see nothing, I am nothing for the whole " relapse" time.

I want to cry when I can see the signs and symptoms of a relapse as I know for 3-4 months I won't exist and have no life until I come out the other side. The only thing that keeps me going is the communication on Twitter with my #spoonie friends as the virtual me still exists, is still there and can still make a small impact on the world, so despite the pain I will push through it just to write a 140 word status so I can feel that a small part of me is still part of this world. 

Thank you for reading xxx